February 2012
2 posts
November 2010
8 posts
There's a very thin line between "Oprah's Favorite...
could not have said it better.
2 tags
& the biggest douche of the week goes to....
what kind of idiot dates someone for a few months & announces their engagement THE SAME WEEK as their x-husband who has been dating his gf for years. what a fking toolbag.
“[Redacted] told me some girls cried at the reunion, because they got trashed and...”
– My friend P, on why I am not sad to have missed my 10 year high school reunion. (via fullcredit)
1. this is why i will never go to any of my reunions. 2. this is exactly how i feel all of my hs friends feel who got married between the ages of 21-25
1 tag
she doesnt even go here!
GROW UP. if you can dish it, youd better be able to take it. im new to tumblr but it hasnt taken me long to realize that this “community” is made up as follows:
2%- actually funny people
48%- people who think they are funny but dont even come close
10%- complete idiots
25%- people are are either narcissistic or just so over the top attention-seeking thats its absolutely fking...
1 tag
oh, you ran 26 miles yesterday?? DONT CARE. i drank 26 vodka sodas & had a fking blast doing it. show your medals & battle wounds to someone who cares bc i dont. not even a little bit. NEXTTT!
October 2010
1 post
so...
how many people do you think are going as chilean miners for halloween this weekend? we couldnt agree on a group theme (last year we were the cast of SNL, about 15 deep) so this seemed like an obvious choice. however, to boggle things up, the theme is miners, minors & minorities. heres to getting the sh*t kicked out of at least 6 of us this halloween!!
September 2010
1 post
On Wednesdays, we wear pink: How is it not a... →
that Kate Hudson openly sang 4-5 lines of Fleetwood Mac’s “Silver Springs” in what could possibly be the most awkward 2 minutes in television history on the RZP this week. I know I’m a day late on this, but HOLY COW… how is this not being shouted from the rooftops!! I love Kate Hudson as much as…
i was DYING over this….DYING. “rolling with the homiesss…”
i was...
August 2010
10 posts
Flight Attendant Uses Emergency Slide to Escape... →
kellyoxford:
A JetBlue flight attendant apparently upset with an uncooperative passenger on a just-landed flight unleashed a profanity-laden tirade on the public-address system, pulled the emergency-exit chute, slid off the plane and fled Kennedy International Airport, a law enforcement official said.
Best NYT story. ever. Steven Slater, 39 - HERO
co-signed
dear people i dont know who keep replying all with...
GFKY.
Who were the writers of "The Facts of Life" trying...
avocadosalad:
mrs. garrett should have let her stay home & lez
recap: RHONJ
- i like, cant even tell you guys how much i, like, HATE danielle staubs borderline mentally retarded daughter. she can officially be added to the private jet i will charter to take noah cyrus, willow smith, john travolta ke$ha & lady gaga over the bermuda triangle.
- we need a better/new plotline for the manzos. no one cares about the less attractive brother. my advice is to either come...
1 tag
“anyone who uses the term amazeballs or any form of that word needs a fresh dump...”
– me
sillybandz
i dont know where the eff these things came from, but somehow….my group of friends aged 18-25 28-33 have turned them into a craze bigger than that lesbian justin beiber. i mean they have microphone-shaped ones, ca$h symbols, & my friend tp told me today that they have FROGS!!!! he brought about 1600 of them yesterday to our weekly sunday funday brunch & we were basically the hit of...
drinking rules
remember to eat so you dont black out on a sunday
that is all
July 2010
19 posts
1 tag
actual bbm convo
g- what is the saying again? christ i pray get outta my house?
me- in jesus' name I PRAY! you know we are friends with her right?
g- yes
me- shes TAMPERED in DORKSIDED stuff!
g- tarot cards!!
me- SLYCHICS!! everythings ungodly!!
g- didnt you take her to barracuda?
me- sure did
g- how darksided did she find the deep-throating on the tvs?
me- she rebuked them in the name of the lord
1 tag
1 tag
Michael Lohan -- The Song I Wrote for Lindsay →
god i hope this is better than the “misty christy” song from that one intervention episode
1 tag
an actual email....
Re: Bunky Really let herself go
From: ******40@gmail.com
Date: Thu, Jul 29, 2010 9:46 am
“I’ve told u about bunky! She’s a girl who I met when I went to school upstate ny my freshman year. Her name is rebecca and she thought my name was brad cause I was super tan. I asked her her name she said “bunky- but its really rebecca its just that alcoholics remember...
“i am going to come & burn the f#cking house down…but you will blow me...”
– - inspirational quotes by mel gibson, 2010
1 tag
i dont hate you cause youre fat...youre fat cause...
j- why did big lose run past looking FAT
me- that makes me happy. i love when people i hate get fat.
1 tag
1 tag
On taking this too seriously.
justkillyourself:
Oh really classy, an “advice columnist” having a sideline in telling people seeking advice to kill themselves. Fucking A you idiot. “GO AHEAD, BE VULNERABLE.” Chyeah right
Your whole persona (at least I hope for your sake it’s a persona) is total dogshit
If you really think that I’m in any way suggesting that people should actually commit suicide, then you should kill...
1 tag
all about the benjamins →
note to self: BUY. THIS. IMMEDIATELY.
im so money, i wipe my ass with hundred dolla bills. this warms my heart almost as much as seeing a complete stranger trip in the middle of the street. over the course of this blog, you will learn that i have a sick fascination with all things ca$h. this addiction started after i went to a friends new apt, where she proceeded to tell me how much every...
time to get serious
so my friend t’s brother just moved into a new apartment & they have a section of their living room that has a dark wooden table, chairs you would see in a library & framed pictures of past presidents hanging on the walls*. because of the mature nature of this rooms furnishings, they have aptly dubbed this room the “serious room” where one can only go to have serious...
ultimate song f#ck. youre welcome!
dcnd about your dream last night....
listen, i love to tell listen to amazing stories as much as the next guy, however- i do not give an f-ing shit about your dream last night. DONT CARE, NEVER DID. i dont care how incredible or scary or how like, totally real it was. lets just end this now because IT WAS AN F-ING DREAM!!! guess what?! dreams are not real! unless you woke up by peeing on yourself in bed, i dont want to hear...
what means the world to you?
money
dough
hair
nails
first post suckas
so im completely clueless about being a blogger or blogging (wow, basically couldnt hate myself more) & will probably have zero followers, but SOWHAT…who cayes?! im doing this for fun & anyone who hates it or thinks im an a**hole can feel free to call my 24-hour hot-line: 1-800-GFKY. operators are standing by.
* note, i will be using the term GFKY or a slight variation of that...